Bruhn sent this boilerplate email earlier in the month:
"Hello Die Music Die,
We’re an indie rock band from Portland OR by the name of “bruhn”. We just finished our first full-length album called “Pull From This End” and are now in the process of promoting our record. We’re hoping to get a review and write up. We would love for you to give us a listen. Any and all feedback is appreciated. We will attach our song “Hollywood” to the email.
You can download a free copy of our album at ...
Thank you for your consideration.
Take Care.
bruhn"
Many music critics are overwhelmed with such emails. In fact, it represents an alarming majority of submissions. They populate my "Spam" folder. To address this nuisance, I randomly plucked bruhn's for reviewing "Pull From This End". Instead, crankiness took over ...
Damn. Damn damn. Damn damn damn! My bias shows like a tramp stamp on a skank.
I cannot adequately review music when this feels like the internal dialogue of a band that submits music spam ...
"Here buddy, I'm throwing this out ... just hoping some idiot will like it and give us free press. If not, well, we don't give 1/2 a shit (maybe a 3/4 on a good day). If you dig it, cool. Still, whatever ... it's not like we're personally invested. We'll digest it, if it's good and share a 1/4 shit with you (if you're lucky)."
"Pull From This End" is hazy, cool and completely throwaway -- it's part of the new wave of dream pop. It is a solid "B-" album. There is nothing mindblowingly good or bad about the record. Appropriately, it kind of sounds like the artists are sleeping with their instruments and mics. The cover art is just as inspired. I guess I can term their overall effort as "emailing it in".
Say what you will about mailing it in -- at least it requires a person to get out bed. A person can "email it in" from the can.
The truth hurts, but this is what most music reviewers think. I know that bands don't think of it in those terms; considered are the dollars and time emailing saves. An email does not replace the feel of a new CD and the realization that a struggling indie band gives enough of a damn to spend $2-$3 with the hope of getting their music reviewed. When I think about the time, cost and effort put into their self-publicity, it encourages me to really listen and give a fair shake.
Nothing impresses on me more than an artist, outfit or indie label that will write a letter, put in a CD and throw in a key chain or something when cash is virtually nonexistent. These days, it's rare to even earn enough in the business to eek out a living. Unless someone emails something that is extraordinary, I cannot justify pissing in the face of the gambling artists that deserve press.
Well...I think this band is pretty good. Although, I get what you're saying. Almost like a supposed critic who doesn't have enough talent to be in any magazine or newspaper, but can instead sit on his own crapper and not only put crap in his porcelain bowl, but also on the internet. Yep....I know exactly what you're talking about!
ReplyDeleteHeh. I wrote multiple ezines (including some very large ones) and subsequently the sole content provider/publisher for a website Google ranked in the top-35 before I sold it off (it took too much of my personal time).
ReplyDeleteDuring that period, I was approached by multiple local magazines to contribute "music scene and local CD review" type articles. I did not care to have my foot in the door.
I am a sporadic writer and love the freedom to control publishing. An anonymous blog is the perfect resource for me.
You are from the Portland area, so you are either affiliated somehow (friend or manager) or a fan -- it's cool. I was brutal and expected a little backlash.
Regardless, the music is a solid "B-" (as indicated). They are pretty good, but certainly not good enough to overcome poor self-promotion. Since bruhn submitted their music to me (and likely many other sites and blogs), they want more than to be a Portland-area band. The quicker they learn the promotion, the more opportunity they have to reach an audience outside the greater Portland area. Unfortunately, you missed the point of the critique (which should have been abundantly clear) -- I did them a service.